Not With A Bang, But A Whimper
by Himekun
Summary: Shelly was new the day they brought Dean Winchester onto the ward. Dean/Castiel, outsider POV, the FBI catch up to them.


Shelly knew she shouldn't. They were dangerous criminals, killers even. But she couldn't help it, for deluded psychopaths they were just so damn cute. She had been new the day they brought in the infamous Dean Winchester, sentenced to life in a high security psychiatric ward. Her second week and she had been helping one of the patients Kieran, aka Sparks, pick out all of the green crayons from the box because green was an evil colour and couldn't be trusted.

The ward had been quiet, a few patients drooling in the corner, and few talking among themselves and non-existent entities. One reading. New arrivals rarely caused a ruckus due to the metric ton of sedatives everyone in the place seemed to be on but when Dean Winchester was escorted into the room the resident 'angel' Jimmy only-responds-to-Castiel Novak, blinked. And within an instant he was by Dean's side, head cocked, a frown upon his face.

"They got you too." His voice was so deep it startled Shelly. She'd never heard him speak before. Dean looked around the room warily, trying to blink away some of the drugged haze.

"'Fraid so Cas. They've got Sammy locked up somewhere padded with the devil for company. I don't know, maybe they can help him." He sounded tired, weary in a way of a man who felt out of options. She wondered if he knew, if he was aware that Sam Winchester was in intensive care, drugged to the eyeballs to let him sleep, so malnourished and sleep deprived the doctors were wary of hope.

"I'm sorry Dean." Jimmy, or rather Castiel replied. "I have failed us all. Raphael will soon take over Heaven with my absence and set the apocalypse back in motion. My Grace is bound and I cannot even save us from this place." He sounded so bereft, so upset, though his face hardly showed it. Dean smiled sadly and put a hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"Hey, it doesn't matter alright. It's over. We tried, we gave everyone a bit more time. Maybe that'll be enough to get us to Heaven hey?" He was grinning though he sounded like he was holding back tears. "Maybe your Dad'll give us a break for once." Castiel nodded solemnly. Then, awkwardly, he placed his hand on top of Dean's and licked his lips.

"Would this be an appropriate time to hug?" Dean laughed with tears in his eyes.

"Yeah Cas, we can hug. C'mere."

It was the first time she heard it, that affectionate and heartbroken command. Two months later it was a phrase so often heard, muttered under Dean's breath when Castiel would stare blindly for minutes at a time, looking so lost, it had become routine. And it always made her smile.

The docs had tried separating them at first, thinking it might break their shared delusion. But Dean had raged and shouted and refused meds until they let him see his friend and God damn it he was not going to let him die alone, whatever that meant. Shelly secretly thought that wasn't why they caved though, it was Castiel, quiet, sad eyed Castiel who was so literal and awkward and endearing who would sit as near to Dean's room as he was allowed and mutter fervent begging prayers to God for them to be reunited before The End.

Three days it lasted, and when the docs gave in Dean and Castiel clung to each other like it had been centuries.

"Oh God Cas I thought I'd never see you again. I kept seeing Raphael appearing in your room at night and- oh God!" He hid his face in Castiel's neck and Castiel let his fingers tangle in Dean's hair and just held him.

It was the first time she saw them kiss.

* * *

The weather for April was unusually stormy. Freak wind patterns or something. She hated the lightning and thunder that came with it because it always spooked the patients. Sure enough, when she walked into the common room to begin her shift, Emily was already being forcibly sedated to stop her screaming at the window that the sky was breaking and would fall on them all.

She searched automatically for _them_. She didn't think of them separately anymore. She wasn't sure anyone did. Every night, no matter how thoroughly they locked the door, Dean would always make it into Castiel's room and they'd be found curled in each other's arms by day break. The only time they were apart was for the two hours of mandatory therapy and psych consults.

She spotted them on the couch, Dean lain with his head in Castiel's lap as the dark haired man stroked through his hair lovingly.

"Won't be long now Cas. Maybe a month, maybe less. Freaky Joe heard the weather report on the radio, omens everywhere." His voice wavered a little.

"Hush Dean, Raphael has no need for you or Sam anymore. Lucifer was defeated in his mind, it will be quick." Castiel continued to soothe Dean with his hands, stroking his hair, caressing his cheek, running a thumb over his lips. Dean closed his eyes.

"Yeah." He sighed. "At least there's that."

They sat quietly together until lunch time where they each took a helping of macaroni cheese and muttered something about bacon cheese burgers and Heaven.

Shelly was assigned to escort Dean to his session with Dr Oliver. He looked up as she approached and smiled wryly. "End of days and I have to spend it talking about my feelings. Thought I'd already been to hell." Castiel frowned at him from where his was sat opposite trying to complete the jigsaw puzzle that always seemed to be missing a piece.

"Dean." It was said tonelessly but Dean seemed to take it as some sort of admonishment because he sighed and apologised. "Sorry sorry, I know, at least it passes the time. And hey- free drugs. What's not to like?" He stood and walked round to Castiel, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head and murmuring, "remember, Armageddon begins, you come get me." Castiel twitched his lips in the hint of a smile and leant up to kiss him on the mouth.

"I promise."

Shelly turned a blind eye to the kiss, though it warmed something in her gut to see it. Strictly, patient relationships were discouraged, but with these two their bond seemed to keep them calm, keep them docile. With a ward full of America's most wanted, keeping them calm was more important than getting them better. Either way, they were in here for life, might as well make it pleasant and peaceful, try not to overspend the drug allowance on tranquilisers.

Dean followed her quietly into the doctor's office and sat down in the worn leather chair, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

"Well Doc, nice to see ya again, how's the family?" Dr Oliver cleared his throat and shuffled some papers on his desk.

"Dean. You've been refusing your meds again I hear. Want to tell me why?" Dean's face lost some of its cockiness as he sighed.

"End of the world doc, and the pink ones make me doozy. Don't mind the blue ones, they take the edge off but the rest make me sloppy. If I've only got days to live I want to spend them free in my own mind." Dr Oliver rested the tip of his fingers together as he looked at Dean.

"Dean, you keep telling me it's the end of the world, the apocalypse is nigh, but you've been here nine weeks now and the world is still here." Dean snorted at that.

"Yeah, well, apocalypse doesn't happen in a day. Heavenly management's got a lot to sort out what with their general locked in the cage. But it's coming, signs and portents everywhere." Dean's face became serious as he leaned towards the doctor. "Just make sure you know where your family is doc, make sure you can get to them, when it counts. You don't want them to die alone."

The doctor straightened at this and cleared his throat. "Are you scared of dying alone Dean? Family means a lot to you I know, Sam and Jimmy, they're the only family you have left now, yes?" Dean pulled a face.

"Don't call him Jimmy just… _don't._"

"Why? It's his name." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, it's the name that goes with those finger prints. Jimmy's been gone a long time doc, Cas burned too hot and bright. You shouldn't insult his family by pretending he's still here."

Dr Oliver paused then. "Does it make it easier pretending he's not Jimmy? Jimmy Novak had a wife and daughter before he met you. Do you feel guilty about taking that from him-" Dean's fist slammed against the desk and Shelly's hand twitched towards the syringe in her pocket.

"_DON'T!" _He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself before he was injected with a drug that would do it for him. "Don't, okay, just don't. I messed up a lot in my life. But Cas, _Cas_ is the _only thing_ keeping me from breaking here. He made his choices, and he chose me." He glared at the doctor with that glint in his eye that reminded Shelly just why Dean Winchester was in the high security ward. "So you can keep your _Damn. Mouth. Shut._"

He refused to speak for the rest of the session.

* * *

Shelly had just finished helping Mark prepare the drugs rounds when the sounds of an argument called her towards the common room.

Dean and Castiel were stood three feet apart, Dean red in the face as he yelled. "I won't let you do this Cas! It's insane!" Castiel's voice was quieter but equally fierce as he replied.

"I do not need your permission Dean! If I keep my Grace I will be killed as soon as the angels descend! Or worse, I will be reconditioned. Do not forget I have been broken down and remade by them before and you _know_ how well it works! I _will not_ be made to forget Dean!"

Dean gestured wildly with his hands. "But you're an angel Cas- God's saved you before, I can't make you destroy who you are for me- give up any chance of redemption!" Castiel's face softened and he cupped Dean's cheek.

"Dean, you do not _make_ me do anything. Raphael cannot let me live under his order, and even if he did, I would not see you or Sam again. You are all I have now Dean, you are my family. If I fall and become human, I can join you in Heaven." Dean was crying now at Cas' deep and steady voice.

"But Cas… you're not strong enough anymore. It could kill you."

Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's and Shelly's heart lurched as he reached towards his trench coat as if he were hiding a weapon. She leapt towards him just as he whispered, "I love you Dean." And she could have sworn she saw him rip into his own skin before a blinding white light overtook her senses and a blood chilling scream erupted from Castiel's lips.

When she was able to open her eyes again Dean was huddled over a lifeless Castiel, sobbing openly and cursing the stupid angel, don't you_ dare_ leave me now.

It took three attendants to peel him away.

* * *

A week. A week of flash floods and lightning and a catatonic Dean Winchester before Jimmy Novak surprised them all and woke up from his completely unexplained coma. Two days of continued observation and the doctors ruled him healthy and released him back to the ward with utter bafflement.

Dean was staring at the wall when Castiel returned. The dark haired man knelt before him and cupped a hand around his neck.

"I'm back Dean. I survived." It was quiet enough for Shelly to barely hear it but somehow it made the way though to Dean because for the first time in seven days he moved.

"Cas?" He sounded horse and wary.

"Yes Dean." Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's stomach. "I'm here."

"You-son-of-a-bitch." Dean hissed before fisting his hands in that ever present trench coat. "You son of a _bitch._"

That night, when Shelly did her rounds, she found Dean's room empty. A glance in at the door marked 'Jimmy Novak', though, showed her Dean, curled up and naked, lying half on top of an equally naked Castiel. She opened the door silently and blushed at the heady scent in the air noticing a tipped up bottle of soap on the floor.

"Dean." She shook him gently. "Dean honey, you need to get dressed before someone else sees you. Dean." Dean stirred slightly and peered up at her, seemingly uncaring of the situation she'd found them in. She blushed deeper.

"Dean, you need to get dressed. If they find out you've… if they find you like this they'll try and separate you again." Dean seemed to wake up at that and gestured towards the hospital pyjamas that were spread across the room. She took the hint and handed him the pants, watching as he lifted Castiel's legs gently, pulling the material up his slick, messy thighs before putting his own on. Castiel murmured as Dean manipulated his body back into the white scrubs top but Dean hushed him and kissed him quiet. When they were both decent again, he looked back at her thankfully and smiled.

"Thanks. Er, guess we got carried away." Shelly smiled slightly in return.

"It's okay. I know you'd never hurt him, but it's against the rules. Sleeping's innocent enough but…" she trailed off. Dean's cheeks reddened only a little as he looked back at Castiel.

"Yeah, well. Thanks anyway." She nodded and made her way to the door but stopped when Dean called out her name.

"Look, I know you probably think we're both a couple of nutbars but, life is short, you know, you never know when it might end." His voice grew grave. "If there's anything you still want to do with your life, do it now." He looked back towards Castiel. "Before it's too late."

* * *

Sam Winchester was admitted to the residential ward on a Friday. He was tall, somewhat lanky and jumped at any loud noises. When he saw his brother, he broke down and cried.

Apparently, the FBI had been unwilling to keep the Winchester brothers together, but after months spent in isolation, having to be drip fed to keep him alive, it was decided Sam needed the specialist unit attached to the ward, and the grouchy baseball cap wearing lawyer had won out, the Winchesters were to be kept together.

Shelly watched them over the next few days, how Dean and Cas would take one end of the sofa whilst Sam took the other, knees held tight to his chest and eyes flicking around fearfully every five seconds. Sometimes Sam would clamp his hands over his ears and shake his head and Dean would kneel in front of him and tell him "It's not real Sammy, it's not real, I've got you little brother".

Once she came across the three of them having the strangest conversation she'd ever heard, and for someone who worked on a mental ward that was saying something.

"Bet we could get Ash to find where our parents are. Help him, you know." Dean looked down at Castiel who was resting against his chest, hair falling into his eyes and stubble thick enough to be the beginnings of a beard. "I could introduce you to Mom." He chuckled. "Have a proper family reunion. I've never brought someone home. Never had a home to bring them to. What d'you know, we all die and death is more normal that life ever was."

Sam made a soft noise from where he was carefully drawing the missing jigsaw piece on a piece of paper so he could complete the puzzle.

"I could show them Jess." He whispered. And a faint broken smile lit up his features. Dean grinned indulgently.

"Yeah, we'll make Heaven worth living in, hey Cas?" Castiel looked up from where he'd been playing with Dean's fingers.

"I should like to meet your family." Dean beamed.

"Man, if it weren't for the fact we were taking the rest of the planet with us, I might even look forward to our impending death. Finally stay dead for once."

They were quiet then, as if lost in memories only they could see. She made a note to check their rooms for stashed pills or any other object that could be harmful. They'd talked of death before but never with such… anticipation. It was unsettling.

They stayed close together, always touching, as if to let go would be to lose one another forever. On the Thursday all the salt went missing from the kitchen.

There was an earthquake on Saturday that destroyed half the city even though there were no tectonic plates anywhere near.

On Sunday, Shelly noticed Castiel had begun praying again, though this time he asked only for a swift end to the world. It left her feeling nervous.

Rivers of blood broke out on Tuesday and she was half convinced she had gone mad herself only everyone else was seeing it too. She didn't sleep that night.

On Wednesday evening, at six thirty-two, the Middleton Psychiatric Hospital collapsed, leaving only rubble and bones behind. Shelly never made it home.


End file.
